Three Ways I Get My Toddler to Eat
Even with a dairy and egg allergy.
Let’s be real… getting toddlers to eat can feel like a full-time job. Throw in food allergies, sensory issues, or strong-willed personalities and suddenly, every meal becomes a battle.
This isn’t your average fitness blog post because if you’re a mom, you know that mental fitness matters just as much as physical strength. And feeding our kids? That taps into all of it…your patience, our creativity, and sometimes our sanity.
I receive a lot of comments all the time about what my son eats. Most people are always so shocked to see what I serve him and even more surprised to see that he actually eats it. When my son was diagnosed with his food allergies at 6 months old, I knew I had to get a grip on the whole eating situation since he was already so limited. I also wanted to make sure that he had a good relationship with food.
From what I hear and see a lot of moms feel the same, and are usually stressed out over what their kids are eating (or not eating), so I wanted to share three things that have actually helped me and my son since he started solids.
The thing that I want you to keep in mind is that these aren’t “hacks”. These are mindsets, so it’s going to take a lot of practice, a lot of finding when it works best for your family, and a wholeeeee lot of trial and error. They might come easy to you, they might not. The key to success with these mindsets is going to be communicating about them with the rest of your family.
1. I make eating fun 🍓
I am notttt a Pinterest mom. But I do try to be a practical one. And one of the easiest ways I’ve made food feel less stressful for both of us is by making it fun, and simple and a little bit unconventional.
Snack trays, for one, are my go-to. I’ll take whatever foods I was already going to give him anyway and divide them into the sections of an ice cube tray or muffin tin. That’s it. He thinks it’s the best thing ever. I think it’s efficient. He eats all his food. Win-win-win.
I also let him help me in the kitchen whenever I can. Sometimes that means stirring something. Sometimes it’s just talking to him about what’s happening on the stove or naming the ingredients as I prep. It gives him ownership and makes him curious about food, which I’ve found goes a long way toward him actually eating it.
Kids like control. And when they feel like part of the process, they’re definitely more likely to engage with the food on their plate. Even if they don’t eat everything.
2. I meet him where he’s at 🧠
I really geek out over child brain development. I’ve read a lot on it and because of that I have zero expectations for my three-year-old to sit still at a table and eat a full meal from start to finish. It’s also just not his style. And honestly? That’s okay. I found that my biggest frustration was trying to get him to sit still and eat. And when I tried to figure out why, the only answer I had was “that’s just what he’s supposed to do.”
I know having family dinner is really important for kids to be a part of and see, but I like to err on the side of being realistic. So on the nights that our schedules allow us to sit down and eat together, we will. Or my husband and I will at least make an effort to sit and eat together so that our son sees it as an example. The other days we let him do what he does, which is pick and go.
From early on, I noticed he likes to graze. So I stopped fighting it. Instead of trying to force him to sit and finish everything in one sitting, I started setting his food out in reach and letting him come and go.
Yes, sometimes it takes three hours for him to finish a meal. And yes, it’s inconvenient for me. But he eats. And even more importantly, he’s learning to listen to his body. He eats when he’s hungry, stops when he’s full, and doesn’t feel pressure or shame around mealtimes.
That’s a win in my book for everyone involved.
3. I don’t give him options 💬
Not to be cheeky, but... with his allergies, he doesn’t have many options anyway. And I set the boundary early that I would not be a short-order cook.
Dinner is dinner. Full stop. If you want something else, you’re welcome to make it yourself. But at three years old, he’s obviously not doing that. So what’s served is what’s served. I got my husband on board with this and it has been a game changer.
This is the one mindset I have that most people disagree with and that’s fine. What makes this mindset work for me is that 1) thanks to god my son is relatively healthy. So, if he goes an extra hour or so without eating because he’s putting up a fuss and I am not budging, I know that he will be okay. 2) I have a lottttt of patience for children - crying, whining, screaming takes a long time before it annoys me, 3) I love to cook, so I know that when he does come around to eating he will get the nutrients he needs.
Like I mentioned earlier, toddlers are just angry little old people and really just want control over something. So in other parts of his life, I try to find benign things he can control like: what boxers he wants to put on, what shoes he wants to wear, whether he wants a spoon or a fork etc.,
When it comes to trying new foods and what goes on his plate in general, I still offer a variety of safe foods and make sure there’s always something on his plate that he enjoys. At the end of the day, they are just like us and I could respect if he just doesn’t like the taste of something the same way I don’t like the taste of somethings. But I’m also not going to make five different versions of dinner just to avoid a tantrum.
So… to wrap things up or TLDR
Feeding toddlers doesn’t have to be a fight. And I say that as a mom who’s been through the allergy diagnoses, the food refusals, and the moments of pure frustration where I wondered if he was getting enough.
What changed everything for me wasn’t some trendy feeding method. It was shifting my mindset, inviting him and the rest of my family into the process, and setting firm but loving boundaries.
So if you’re in a hard feeding season right now, you’re not alone. And you’re not failing. You’re learning, just like they are.
